Gravity is the cause for all my tears. Forming them to fall all the way to the ground, and shatter like broken glass. Hopes and dreams fallen. Life and death lays a mystery, and the mind that over comes it all. Yet my mind is what fails me. For I have become so broken inside that I thought I loved someone, but finding out it was just a waste of my time. Waste of everything. He took the love he wanted, and dropped my heart right in front of me. Turning around and walked away. Making me feel forever in the shadows which I already have been standing in, but making me feel more forgotten as ever before.
No matter how many times I try to be in love, or try to. I always fail, and it just falls apart in my face. Like I never belong with this power instead my destiny lies in the darkness of the forgotten shadows of a world that everyone never wishes to step foot in. A world filled with the darkness of curl and heartless monsters that just walks along a forever darken path of being alone forever. Till the last breath is taken for a final death filled words. My heart lays dead.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Yourself Brings Glory
Everyday I watch how things fall down on other people. It's rather they are made fun of, or even bullied. It can hurt someone a lot where they just want to kill themselves. Just by using words, but that doesn't mean anything what someone tells you in a harsh way. For me I know how you feel to be bullied or the bully. I have have been on both paths which I tend to hate about myself.
Just because someone tells you that you are fat or look weird, nasty. Or the ways you do something in your own different ways. Nobody can change the fact that was just how you were born. You should never let someone else's words stop you from being you. Cause just one or a group of people don't like you doesn't mean that is the whole world.
Everyone is different in their own way, but thats what makes them different from anyone else and one of a kind. Hearts grow for being who you are. So why change the way you are just because other people don't care? Well you know what someone in this world will come along and love that side for who you are. It may not be right away, but in time to come you will bring glory on yourself. So never let someone stop you for being who you are inside. Cause why change who you are when you will become so much more and be able to fallow your dreams. Heh.
Mood- Happy
Just because someone tells you that you are fat or look weird, nasty. Or the ways you do something in your own different ways. Nobody can change the fact that was just how you were born. You should never let someone else's words stop you from being you. Cause just one or a group of people don't like you doesn't mean that is the whole world.
Everyone is different in their own way, but thats what makes them different from anyone else and one of a kind. Hearts grow for being who you are. So why change the way you are just because other people don't care? Well you know what someone in this world will come along and love that side for who you are. It may not be right away, but in time to come you will bring glory on yourself. So never let someone stop you for being who you are inside. Cause why change who you are when you will become so much more and be able to fallow your dreams. Heh.
Mood- Happy
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Dreams
Life is a weird place to be in I found out that with the days I have lived. I may be only one person in this world, but that doesnt mean I'm weak and alone. Everyone is connected inside even when you don't relise it. People you don't even know are connected to you and your heart. The days may even past by so fast and the next thing you know your living a dream and a goul. Your mind is made of wonders and so much more. Doesnt matter who you are. I myself have goals and dream I try to make. Most my goals have failed, but many have past.
I may be clamed as so many names, and lost so many friends. That doesnt stop me in my path of freedom. I know it's the part of life and stuff will happen, but when someone tries to stop you from making something come true for you then you have to be the one to stay strong. The only person who can make yourself strong is yourself. The life we walk is the path that you make. I am stong and forever here until the days of death takes me away. I'm here for you and me. The helpless and the strong. I am the one people call outcast cause I don't fit in with a group of people. Nothing stops me from making my dreams. I will hold my flame proud cause I wouldnt want to be no other. I was made for a reason, and so were you. We were all made for a reason, and thats what you have to find out on your own.
I have dreams like everyone else. My dreams are wonders to me, and they always help me over pass somethings. When I fall asleep when I had a bad day and in full tears I see my grandpa. He is the most amazing person I love. He gives me advise, and hints to the answers I seek. My heart is still conected to his, and I hope he is always with me. (I love you) Yes I did fall down when I lost him, but I know he is always watching over me like a angel he has always been.
Mood: Upset, and Happy
I may be clamed as so many names, and lost so many friends. That doesnt stop me in my path of freedom. I know it's the part of life and stuff will happen, but when someone tries to stop you from making something come true for you then you have to be the one to stay strong. The only person who can make yourself strong is yourself. The life we walk is the path that you make. I am stong and forever here until the days of death takes me away. I'm here for you and me. The helpless and the strong. I am the one people call outcast cause I don't fit in with a group of people. Nothing stops me from making my dreams. I will hold my flame proud cause I wouldnt want to be no other. I was made for a reason, and so were you. We were all made for a reason, and thats what you have to find out on your own.
I have dreams like everyone else. My dreams are wonders to me, and they always help me over pass somethings. When I fall asleep when I had a bad day and in full tears I see my grandpa. He is the most amazing person I love. He gives me advise, and hints to the answers I seek. My heart is still conected to his, and I hope he is always with me. (I love you) Yes I did fall down when I lost him, but I know he is always watching over me like a angel he has always been.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Twist and Turns
Life is turning around for me, and its amazing. I thought I would be just laying in the dark alone forever, but life totally backed fired on me like always. Totally worth this back fired and at the moment I am loving it. Well I should tell you since at the moment you have no darn clue. So here it goes.
I met this really sweet boy from a friend. Only knowing that they were good friends. She hooked me up and all three of us started just talking soon my friend Pocky she started not talking as much in our chat room. So I was stuck with this guy I just met. Yes it was strange and all, but we became great friends over the mast month. Two months later I finally found out the the guy I was talking to was really Pockies brother. Though I still never met him face to face before cause I never went to Pockies house. When I did my life turned upside down with so many twist and turns. Cause Poko and I started dating on January 6, 2013. A big turn to me. Poko is very kind, and sweet. Never thought we would become a couple though. Thought nobody would really like me in that sort of way. I been hurt so many times that just by watching the people around me and how love falls down so hard....I never wanted to become one of those people. So I tried to stay away from anything that takes place in caring in the heart. I even called Valintines Day, Haters Day. Instead if showing your love I would always laugh among to myself of the people that were in love. Really hated how people just showed off that they were loved and cared for, and I was just left as a different outcast that nobody wanted to keep.
But if you still havent found someone. That shouldn't stop you from making your heart stronger. You should always show your real flower of your heart, and just let yourself bloom into something that you truely are. No matter what kind of pain you reach always be yourself. Someday you will find someone that fixes your puzzle deep inside your heart.
One last thing, I still have my one true bestest buddy puppy. Though we drift I will never let our friendship fully dift away cause he is my one friend that I had for the longest time. He is still always there for me and I'm there for him when times he really needs me. I always care for him, and people I yet do not know. I care even when they done harm to my heart. I will always care even past the days my life are no more. My heart is strong and each day I will make it stronger.
I wish you all good-luck with each day that flies by you.
Mood-Happy
I met this really sweet boy from a friend. Only knowing that they were good friends. She hooked me up and all three of us started just talking soon my friend Pocky she started not talking as much in our chat room. So I was stuck with this guy I just met. Yes it was strange and all, but we became great friends over the mast month. Two months later I finally found out the the guy I was talking to was really Pockies brother. Though I still never met him face to face before cause I never went to Pockies house. When I did my life turned upside down with so many twist and turns. Cause Poko and I started dating on January 6, 2013. A big turn to me. Poko is very kind, and sweet. Never thought we would become a couple though. Thought nobody would really like me in that sort of way. I been hurt so many times that just by watching the people around me and how love falls down so hard....I never wanted to become one of those people. So I tried to stay away from anything that takes place in caring in the heart. I even called Valintines Day, Haters Day. Instead if showing your love I would always laugh among to myself of the people that were in love. Really hated how people just showed off that they were loved and cared for, and I was just left as a different outcast that nobody wanted to keep.
But if you still havent found someone. That shouldn't stop you from making your heart stronger. You should always show your real flower of your heart, and just let yourself bloom into something that you truely are. No matter what kind of pain you reach always be yourself. Someday you will find someone that fixes your puzzle deep inside your heart.
One last thing, I still have my one true bestest buddy puppy. Though we drift I will never let our friendship fully dift away cause he is my one friend that I had for the longest time. He is still always there for me and I'm there for him when times he really needs me. I always care for him, and people I yet do not know. I care even when they done harm to my heart. I will always care even past the days my life are no more. My heart is strong and each day I will make it stronger.
I wish you all good-luck with each day that flies by you.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Standing with Walls
Wall has been broken, and the stonger me is fully showing. Yet there is still a lot of me that still hides, but that doesnt mean I should stick to the shadows any longer. Surely I have to be strong, and myself at the same time. I wont let people get to me thats all. My heart is more then people see. The parts that they can't see are the ones that show the real me inside. And that goes for everyone out there in the world.
Heh just because people are unable to see your true bloom doesnt mean you are worthless. I guess I leard that the hard way. People will always feel worthless at somepoint in life, but that just means you are growing stronger then anyone else in the world. I have met and lost some great friends. Yes, it still bugs me, but I will always remember them in my heart :). Nomatter who they are EVERYONE should be remember like a Fairy Tale. I hope the best for everyone even though you may not know me and I may not know you. Life is worth of wonders. So you shouldn't waste it.
Looking for Angels-Skillet-
Heh just because people are unable to see your true bloom doesnt mean you are worthless. I guess I leard that the hard way. People will always feel worthless at somepoint in life, but that just means you are growing stronger then anyone else in the world. I have met and lost some great friends. Yes, it still bugs me, but I will always remember them in my heart :). Nomatter who they are EVERYONE should be remember like a Fairy Tale. I hope the best for everyone even though you may not know me and I may not know you. Life is worth of wonders. So you shouldn't waste it.
Looking for Angels-Skillet-
Mood- Happy, and Yet Sad
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Outcast Of Freedom
I never thought I would be back, and yet my heart is cold and more shattered. I have been getting really hurt and bullied yet nobody really see's it or knows. All I want to do is curl up and stay inisde my room forever. Though I already know I can't do that showing that I am weak and the other people have won.
I will always hold together what I have left nomatter if I have to risk whatever heart I have left. People see me as weak, thought really inside I am stronger then anyone who tries detroying my last part to my shattered heart. As long that I understand what the true power is I will always win agents the heartless of my foe's.
Despite the horror I stand in front of I have met someone new that is kinda like me in my past yet different. I never thought of really getting to know him as well as I do now. Though I will always have my wall up to anyone who I know and care for knowing that something could always happen. Yes, I do trust them, but No I wont put my wall down. He is my friends brother, which is very strage for me. Since normally few people would really want to talk to me. Though I could care less, but yet I do care about the people who are outcast in the world. I try to help them the best I can and Keep them alive and give them a helping hand when needed.
I never ask for anyone in my life to be my friend. I never force anyone to change their minds. I am just one person in the world just like everyone else. I may speek differently, but yet I speak the same for a few. My heart has always been hurt, though I will always try no matter how much pain I have to be put in. My heart is meant to be strong for a reason. If people hate me for who I am, then I can't change that. I am who I am, and my mind is what I make it. I will never be someone that I don't want to be nomatter what group it is. I shall always be known as my own group of people I call the outcast of freedom!
I will always hold together what I have left nomatter if I have to risk whatever heart I have left. People see me as weak, thought really inside I am stronger then anyone who tries detroying my last part to my shattered heart. As long that I understand what the true power is I will always win agents the heartless of my foe's.
Despite the horror I stand in front of I have met someone new that is kinda like me in my past yet different. I never thought of really getting to know him as well as I do now. Though I will always have my wall up to anyone who I know and care for knowing that something could always happen. Yes, I do trust them, but No I wont put my wall down. He is my friends brother, which is very strage for me. Since normally few people would really want to talk to me. Though I could care less, but yet I do care about the people who are outcast in the world. I try to help them the best I can and Keep them alive and give them a helping hand when needed.
I never ask for anyone in my life to be my friend. I never force anyone to change their minds. I am just one person in the world just like everyone else. I may speek differently, but yet I speak the same for a few. My heart has always been hurt, though I will always try no matter how much pain I have to be put in. My heart is meant to be strong for a reason. If people hate me for who I am, then I can't change that. I am who I am, and my mind is what I make it. I will never be someone that I don't want to be nomatter what group it is. I shall always be known as my own group of people I call the outcast of freedom!
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
The Last Stand
I guess for the longest time I have felt nothing but pain. For some reasom whenever I try to help or say anything people tend to not even care. My words or say means nothing in this world, or ever will be. So lost in pain. So I shall stay in forever shadows I guess. The very shadows that keep me stedy and alive. Even though I only have one friend with me now, but it seems like my heart can't stand it. The shadow that started taking over my hearts world just want's me to shut down on everyone. When I know I don't want to. I always wanted something better, but I guess that nothing does really matter. Everytime I try to have a wonderful life random stuff pops up like over size flame flowers blocking my path.
Like for instance, at work I deal with fucked up people who think just because they have a job means that they know everything. Even though I had worked there longer I am a higher rank then them. They just think they can walk all over me like a feild of wild flowers. Well people that I work with need to wake up and smell the damn roses because I am not going to listen to their fucked up minds. Also I am fine with jokes and stuff, but if they think they can do it every min of my time they are wrong wronger then the devil it self. Look I can deal with crap, but I am not no super hero where I can deal with it for my life. I don't want to deal with winning people that hate other people they work with or that their in pain and crap. I only let one person slide and thats the one person who understands me, but other then that friend people need to go away and leave my life alone. I am no longer in use to fuck around with and be a lame ass target for people to shoot off their drama off on me. I am no longer their stupid toy.
Lastly I fully lost Comet as a friend. Havent talked to her in days/weeks. I guess I just text one person now that isn't just family. Haha I guess I am a lame person after all, a girl who can't keep friend's go figure. Life just hasn't been my best, but that doesnt mean I will quit fighting.
"The devil shall never win over my soul until the last battle of the wars has fully fallen to the knees of ones who stand strong with wings that no longer fly for the ones that no longer fight. Each last feather of that wing will glow with a story that will shine for a forever day's where no man ever dares to walk the land in the forever darken shadows."
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