Forever Tears

Today I didn’t have school today because the roads gotten really bad. I had to do some cleaning so I didn’t get yelled at for doing nothing. I have got a stocker, which I don’t know who he is. He just ends up talking to himself because I don’t talk to him. It’s pretty creepy what he tells me. So here are some examples of what he been saying. “I love you, I want to marry you, I think you so pretty, Please don’t leave your pretty self alone you should date me, I wish I was there to kiss you.”

But anyway I have been staying alive through the days that go by. Even though most days I just feel alone, that’s only because my heart makes me feel that way. I’m normally really lost in the world and thinking thoughts that nobody should think. During the days that’s how it has become. So many people think they can help me and most try to attempt doing, but in the end they all just end up failing or giving up. Yes it is all true that my heart has been through so much in my past, but at the end up each day I always still think about how things work in this world. The thoughts that always come to me just end up taking control and making it hurt inside. The pain of being alone and lost also the pain that nobody wants anything to deal with. I have been fighting this pain since 3^rd grade. My past life was always just a drain of nightmares coming true. Turning me into a hateful living monster and that monster has hurt a lot of people. I can still remember times when I got into fights and making them cry, and I would just sit there and stare. After the move I wanted to change I wanted to care, so I didn’t have to feel so alone in the world. So I didn’t have to hurt anybody but myself. When I moved I stopped caring how I really felt about things and myself. I never care what happens to me as long as the people around me are ok. Every day of my past I just brought shame to the people around me and my family. My lifelong goal was to hear from my father’s voice that he was proud of me. That he was happy to have me as a daughter, and then just pat me on the head. As time goes by I still remain as an outcast. Probably will for the rest of my life…

Mood: Somewhat Sad

Song of the Day:

Todays Work

Today was a pretty long day. I worked eight hours like every Saturdays, but I had to work with someone that was making me really mad. After the noon rush my day somewhat turned around. Then when I got home I found out that my mom had already moved my room. So now I have the smallest room in the house again. It doesn’t bug me that much which is good.

Mood: Tired, Ok in a way 

Song of the day: Check Yes Juliest,
By: We the kings

Another Day

Today my friends stole my phone today again, and started texting a few of my friends. It was a pretty boring day even at lunch where normally my day gets turned around by everyone, but my friends just ended up creeping me out a little. I also finished my book today that I have been reading, but it made me mad at the ended. Other than that it was a pretty normal day.

Mood: Tired, Happy, and Feeling a Tad Bit Better.

The Day

Today was a good day. I got dark chocolate from one of my friends today. So I was pretty hyper today. My friend and I started making a story about a ninja that is new to the town. It's pretty funny because we just end up fighting about what happen next.

I got into a chat with my teacher about a goal I had in the past and the days to come. So what I told her is that my frist goal was to ride my first real roller coster. Witch I did when I was sevan. When I got off that coster I was really happy. So now my day to come goal is to ride one of the top ten fastest coster in the US.

Mood: Epicly Happy

About Me

Hello, I am DarkJenna. To me only a few things matter in life and that is making the ones around me happy. As long that the people I care about are happy then I don't care what really happens to me. I would take my life for anyone any day of this world. I have been trying to stay alive. Just like anyone else in this life. My heart has always been broken since I have moved to a city that I never wanted to live in the first place. My parents have never cared what I think about things. Just like most people at my school. They pretend to care, but then they just turn around and stab me in the back. I have been stabbed so many times that I have lost trust when I was really little. Lost trust in friendship and trust in my family.

Even though I have lost trust in a lot of things. I still have a few friends that I can really trust. Three friends that really make my day. Every time I talk to them it just makes me smile. I hope they will always be my friends till the end.

So my friend main friend is Puppy. He is my dear friend that I talk on the phone allot. We never talk face to face, but he always makes me feel better about myself. He is always there for me when I have a lot on my plate and can't take it anymore. Puppy is one of the greatest friends I have ever really had. In my heart he is like a older brother.

My Second friend would be Tiger. My dear friend Tiger is one of my longest friends. Even though I have lost connection with for two years after my move. Me and Tiger finally started talking again after the long years. Telling the stories that we had and how much we have missed in the past years. He is a really sweet friend that knows what to say most the time. He always takes care of his little sister.

My last friend is Bunny. He is another long friend of mine. I started talking to him again just like Tiger. The move killed are friendship for five years because he moved way back to Germany. He is just an awesome friend with great ideas. He also takes care of his little sister.

Mood: Happy